I am trying very hard to remain calm. This week I printed off my ‘final instructions’ for Brighton 2012. It all felt a little bit wrong as the furthest I’ve run so far is 16.5 miles. As I finished that run earlier this week I have to admit I was buzzing, the final song from my ‘Running Tunes’ shuffle that day was Aretha Franklin and I even had breath to sing along with her and tell all the nearby sheep all about the R-E-S-P-E-C-T that meant so much to me! Compared to the hellish 15 mile run of last week, this came as a huge relief. And then, as that wonderful runners’ high wore off, I realised…another 10?! On the top? Really?! I am trying very hard to remain calm. I plodded out a hilly 6 miler and a steady 8 over the rest of the week and will fit in a short hill programme on the dreadmill before the week is out. I went to see my wonderful physio and laughed that my biggest problem is my shoulder. Go figure, as our Trans Atlantic cousins might say. I enjoyed the fact that I had to eat more and enjoyed a bit of banter on Facebook’s running wall. But through all of this I am feeling very, very nervous. I’ve mentioned before that I’m following Hal Higdon’s Novice 1. Since doing the ‘final instruction’ thing I have become convinced that a single run of 20 miles will never be enough to prepare me for what 26.2 demands! I’m still not sure how much weight I lose through sweat on a long run (nice!) and so can’t decide if I’m hydrating right. I can’t decide if the new energy gel approach is really making any difference. I am trying very hard to remain calm.
I think this marathon, my second, is a little like the experiences of childbirth I have had – the first time you can go in with your tens machine and your lavender oil and your breathing techniques and you believe, really believe that this will be a good pain, a productive pain and that it will be a positive, enriching and strengthening experience. For some lucky souls that may well be the case! For me it was actually just pain – not good or enriching (or productive!) – and it was terrifying and dramatic. The fact it all ended well is all that matters, but it took me 4 years before I could pluck up the courage to do it again and seeing that blue line for a 2nd time was really, really fantastic…but just a little terrifying too - because this time I knew a little of what might lie ahead. And that is how I feel about Brighton. My first marathon in Belfast was an incredible experience and I honestly believe that everyone should try it once if it’s at all possible! It’s so rewarding, so fulfilling and you get a medal! But man, it does smart a little! Am I really wise doing this again?!
It has to be said that there is a part of me that has taken me by surprise this time round. It would appear I do have a small sliver of competitiveness within me, previously undiscovered! Not with other people I hasten to add, only me. Yet maybe…when I look back now at my 2nd pregnancy I was rather the same then. I wanted to do this birth thing right this time! I wanted all the hippy chick stuff I’d wanted last time! I didn’t want all the panic and intervention. But first and foremost I wanted a healthy baby and it turned out intervention was the only way for me again- I was bitterly disappointed by how things happened, but utterly delighted with the 8lb 7oz bundle of gorgeousness that my 2nd son was, and still is. So… after doing Belfast in 5.38, of course this time I would like to do it a little bit better, a little bit faster, a little bit more gracefully! And maybe even do it without crying for the last 3 miles? And then there is the practical issue that I have to get on a plane that evening so I can’t be fannying around too long and I have to be able to get up the stairs of the plane or I won’t get home!
So…remaining calm going well then isn’t it?
When I’m lying awake at night fretting about this new, strangely addictive (and not always pleasant!) hobby I appear to have acquired, I indulge myself in a little bit of list making. Nothing calms me like a list! I thought I’d share it with you…
Why me & Brighton will get on OK:
I’ve done it before, so I can do it again.
Heading into week 12…happy running everyone.
xx
Are you running the Brighton Marathon? How has your training been going? How do you think you will get on? Let us know in the comments below.