Last weekend was another one of my favourite races – the Grantham Canal ultra. This event is proving increasingly popular, and this year a motley gaggle of around 100 runners gathered in the car park of Cotgrave leisure centre, just south-east of Nottingham, to listen to Rory Coleman brief us about what we were to experience.
What we were about to experience was running to Grantham along the rural canals of Nottinghamshire and Lincolnshire, a sniff short of thirty miles in distance, followed by the return trip the next day - fifty-nine-and-a-bit miles in two days.
Rory stood on top of his Chevrolet and addressed the combatants using a radio-mike. We stood below him, peering up at his lithe, chiselled frame, hanging on to every word. He was like Caesar rallying his centurions before they marched into battle.
Now, I’ve heard many a pre-race speech, but I have ‘listened’ to very few, and forgotten just about all of them. But I always pay attention to Rory’s, for several reasons.
Firstly, there are the practical matters. Rory doesn’t organise short road races; his speciality is the ‘Ultra’. For the competitors there is little chance of following the dense crowd of runners in front of them. In these races, the person in front of you may be out of sight, and they might have gone the wrong way anyway. If you don’t pay attention to the pre-race brief you too may run astray. This is no fun if you inadvertently add a few miles on to a 50-mile race. And this happens, believe me.
So, we listened to Rory to learn about any route changes or deviations (which is all well and good, but after several hours of running the ‘thinking’ brain doesn’t always function too well and bad decisions are sometimes made anyway).
But more than gaining useful information, listening to Rory is entertaining. He’s a bit of a showman, a character, an entertainer. Probably bonkers!
“There’s a new dual carriageway under construction near the canal at the four mile mark, so you need to come off the towpath, turn right, go straight across the road works and….I say, I say, I say, my dog’s got no nose. Oh really, how does he smell? Just like you at the back there Doddsy. Get yourself to the front, man. Come on, all shuffle around now. I want to see the whites of your eggs, er, eyes……”
Ok, so it’s not exactly like that but you get the idea. A Rory Coleman briefing is worth listening to. It is ‘info-tainment’. He could make a career in Vaudeville.
In amongst the masses of backpack-clad ultra-runners stood Bug forumite, bretrunner, who was only able to enter day 1 of the event due to other commitments. He looked keen and eager.
Also there, but working for Rory’s team as a marshal rather than running was our old friend, gam, looking resplendent in his flouro-yellow marshal’s bib but having lost his facial hirsuteness that was evident at the Worksop half marathon. I presume that was the winter coat of the wild gam, now shed as the days draw longer.
I had been chatting to gam a little earlier and explained that I would be running with caution as there was a slight sensation of impending plantar fasciitis under my right foot. I enquired whether there would be any chance of a foot massage when I reached his check point. He grinned and muttered something about sucking toes. At that moment Rory had called us all forward, so I wasn’t able to clarify exactly what foot care delights gam would be offering. Maybe I’d arrive at Grantham with a full pedicure and fancy nails. That would be hard to explain to Mrs RTS when she met me at the hotel.
Anyway, Rory finished his briefing, took a couple of encores and waved us off.
I fancied being towards the front, having finished well in this race for the last couple of years. A small cluster of whippets, including bretrunner, sped away, and I settled into my planned rhythm just behind them.
And planned it was. Having done some stupid things and bonked badly in long races in the past, I chose to ignore everyone else and stick to my own pace. I knew that I could maintain a steady 8:00 – 8:30 minutes per mile all the way to the finish. I also knew I had enough fluid and calories to get me to half way, where I’d refill the same amount and continue to the end.
I also knew that there would be some muddy, slippery sections of the rural canal path, and chose to run in trail shoes with fantastic, studded grip (and a supportive fascia band) – a pair of Inov8 Roclite 295’s
It went like a dream. I hit the half way point bang on schedule after 2 hours. Gam was at that checkpoint. I asked him if he had any scissors to help open my food bag that contained carbohydrate drink powder. Thankfully he had left his nail scissors, emery boards and the rest of his pedicure paraphernalia in his car, thus preventing a potentially embarrassing situation vis-à-vis my feet and Mrs RTS later that day.
I merrily pottered at the same pace all the way to the day’s finish, running entirely alone as I love to do, barring overtaking several runners near the end who had started too fast. Day 1 finishing time was 4hours 4 minutes, in eighth place. Bretrunner was sixth, five minutes ahead of me.
I had a few minutes of dog-fighting with mild nausea, as I often do after a long run, before checking in to the hotel and waiting for the rest of the family to arrive. They whisked me to the hotel’s swimming pool for a float around before tea and bed.
The next morning I left Mrs RTS and the kids eating breakfast and went out for another entertaining car rooftop broadcast from Rory Coleman. The number of disciples surrounding him was smaller than the previous day, and there were a lot of stiff legs among them, mine included. But stiff legs are no excuse for not running another 30 miles, so we set off.
Again I was near the front end, slowly chasing after much the same band of speed merchants. I adopted the same strategy, allowing another 30 seconds per mile. Again the strategy went well. Gam clocked me through the first checkpoint. Half way was reached 4 minutes slower than on day 1. The last three miles were a struggle, and the pace slowed as I tired and ran out of drink. But my finishing time was good – 4 hours 12 minutes, sixth place.
That was good enough to put me 4th overall after two days, which was pleasing. Gam was waiting for me at the finish. After a few minutes chatting he left for home. I never did get my foot massage; not even a filing if the sharper edges of my blackening toenails. What I did get, however, were two nice shiny ultra finishers medals to go in the collection. And some great memories to last me until I run the race again next year.
Check out www.ultrarace.co.uk There may be something there for you. You’ll love it.